When I was a kid, I once heard my mom say to her friend that she shouldn’t lift a heavy item. Your thinking “that doesn’t sound so bad “, but, aha, there’s more. She followed that with a scary suggestion that this woman’s “uterus will fall out!”

Wow! What the hell is that? I don’t think I was more than 10 yrs old but that sure sounded bad to me. What the hell is a uterus? Did I have one of those? I lifted some heavy things. Was I going to lose something through my ass? Next time I saw my friends, I had to ask if any of them knew what the heck a uterus is. Well as it turned out we weren’t so up on the female anatomy as we thought we were. Sure we knew the important parts breast, butt, the female flower….you know all the stuff that mattered to us, but a uterus? And the fact that it might just “fall out”. I remember thinking that I was glad I was a guy cause it didn’t seem like much more than a good bowel movement was coming out of me.

So fast forward to the present. I find myself laughing today when I tell women at work not to lift heavy things because their uterus might fall out. They laugh and say that won’t happen, but I tell them I don’t want to be the one present to witness the event if it does! After all, am I the one that s going to have to have to pick it up, bag it and carry it to the hospital so they can put it back in? Hell I don’t think I have it in me toss it in my car and bring it with us. Its not like a finger that you can throw in a bag of ice and put it on the dashboard. If you witnessed your child’s birth than you know just how messy those things can be! Seriously, does it really “fall out”? I recently heard a story about a guy who pushed so hard during a visit to the john, that his intestine fell out. Really, a friend of mine drove him to the hospital and watched the doctor push it back in. Holy crap man!

So for future reference, don’t let your woman pick up heavy items.  Unless you have a pooper scooper or something else handy to pick up that uterus when it falls out you better carry those grocery bags from now on!

Just one man’s opinion!

The Regular Guy

The Jersey shore is a great place to listen to outdoor concerts during our beautiful summer nights.

Listening to music when combined with the cool breeze off the bay water and the warm summer night, makes for a great way to spend an evening. Grab a cooler, some beach chairs and a couple of sandwiches and head out to boogie to some of the local talent while enjoying the outdoors.

I can’t get enough of these concerts but sadly we only get to experience them for a couple of short months here at the shore. It is hard to imagine why we don’t have these from May through October, because the weather here is great during this time of year. I figure that local politicians cant find the money to fund this series longer  or they haven’t got a clue as to how enjoyable it is for the community. Either way, our town should be able to take advantage of this for at least two seasons a year.

Recently we listened to  Jimmy and the Parrots, who are a local cover band that plays a lot of Jimmy Buffet and easy listening classics. Although I have seen them in years past and thought they were pretty entertaining, this evenings vocal performance was terrible. I cant remember their singing being so off key. Not surprisingly and even with the bad vocals coming from the stage, the audience cheered and sang along with the band until the very end.

Summer has now moved into its last leg with autumn being a few cool nights away. That’s too bad, because it’s a sign that the best of the summer music will be fading away even sooner. For those who are lucky enough, it’s almost time to head to warmer weather down south, grab a chair or two, get outside and pick up on where the music has left off.

The Regular Guy

Back in April of 2010 I reviewed this restaurant and as I have come to understand, Spiaggia is now celebrating their 2nd Anniversary, which seems to be a good reason to revisit one of my favorite places.

Consistency of food  is perhaps the hardest thing to achieve and maintain in a restaurant. More times than not I have dined out and had a great experience on my first visit only to return another time to be disappointed. Over the last two years, I have eaten here at least a dozen times between both the pizza side and the restaurant side.  My first three visits to Spiaggia and the restaurant side, were consistently great but it seems that since that first year, portion sizes have gotten smaller, prices have risen and the once flavorful dishes have now become just so-so.

My favorite dish has always been Fra Diavolo Festa because I love the combination of seafood in a hot and spicy tomato sauce. Originally this was the reason that I returned time and time again and on this visit it would be my test dish to see if things are still great here at Spiaggia. What I found was that the portion of pasta below the medley of seafood is no longer too much to finish and the spicy sauce is just slightly above marinara on the tomato scale. What once was a wonderful  experience is now just an average dish, one that you might find in a pizzeria restaurant. I will say that I asked to sub shrimp for the scallops and I did have enough shrimp to satisfy. What is lacking is the spicy zip that you should taste in every bite from the Fra Diavolo sauce. It seems to me that the sauce is nothing more than Marinara with some crushed red pepper.  Not the dish that kept me coming back for more.

My wife ordered the Spiaggia Land and Sea( Filet Mignon and Lobster Tail) and for $30 you should be wowed in a every bite. Served with white rice, she asked if they would sub the vegetable risotto that came with another dish in its place. This was a good move because the risotto was creamy and cheesy and helped to make the meal better than its white rice counter part might have. The filet was just like you would make on your outdoor grill and the lobster tail was just broiled and served.

The thing that seems to be missing here is the little something extra that puts some restaurants over the top while others are just okay.  A case in point could be made for the house salad. The greens are served chilled and the house dressing used to be one that made you want seconds. The homemade Lemon vinaigrette wasn’t as tangy, lemony and tasty as it used to be. Something has changed here, whether it is the chef or the recipes due to higher costs and/or different quality of ingredients.  Okay dinners are fine if you are in a pizzeria and the pricing reflects that. But with the prices of appetizers averaging around $12 each and entree prices average or higher than neighboring establishments, you expect the WOW factor every time. Someone at Spiaggia isn’t paying attention to details like they used to when they first opened. The portion size, seasoning and finishing touches that make the difference and were once noticeable, are now missing.

Two years in, one great year and now one good year. Not the way to be heading especially when people are in a struggling economy and they are cautious where they will be spending their hard earned dollars.

Regular Guy rating * * *

Spiaggia e Luna

696 E Bay Ave

Barnegat NJ

609-660-2000

The following is a copy of an article written by my sister and posted on http://www.deeper meditation.net. I hope this will help you deal with the stress we incur everyday.

How often do you exclaim, “I’m so stressed out!”? Stress is a commonality that is all too familiar but often overlooked as a serious symptom of disease. The reality is that stress is the #1 risk factor for disease. With studies showing that stress leads to obesity, heart disease, depression, anxiety, hypothyroidism, immune deficiency, etc., why is it that we are still so stressed out?

I believe it is that we are not taught as children how to handle stress properly. We learn to mimic our parents’ behavior, which was not always a healthy choice! Instead of realizing that stress is something that happens inside a person, we see it as an attack against our homeostasis and defend it at all costs. Stress typically arises because of our beliefs about how things ‘should be’ and not necessarily the situation at hand, and often it is self-inflicted.

In my 16 years experience as a Massage Therapist, I have found that most of my clients come to me because they are internalizing their stress. Instead of letting it out, they hold it in and that energy transmutes into a physical pain or disease. Massage is a great way to release it from the body because the pressure receptors in the skin convey a message back to the brain to release the energy and send out endorphins to relieve the pain.

However, we should not always rely on someone else to relieve our stress. If we never learn how to adequately handle stress so that it doesn’t get trapped in our bodies, stress will never go away. It just gets transmuted into something more difficult to deal with that we find no way of escaping, such as a debilitating disease.

If stress is self-inflicted, how do we stop the cycle? First answer these questions:

1. Do you create deadlines for yourself, like having company over so the house must be clean by a certain time?

2. Do you worry about what people will think before you act or speak?

3. Do you volunteer for things even though you really don’t have the time?

4. Do you do things even though the little voice inside you is saying, “No, don’t do it!”

5. Do you allow others to control your time because you are too ‘nice’? For example, getting trapped in conversation you really don’t have time for.

6. Do you get enough rest, eat right and exercise as you should?

If you answered “Yes” to any of the first five questions, consider this: “Who puts you first?”

The primary way to adequately handle stress is to begin to make time for YOU. Realize that without your health there will be none of ‘you’ to go around. Stop taking on extra projects or putting pressure on yourself. You will be AMAZED how the universe will open up opportunities for you to take care of yourself when you make the decision to do so.

Helpful techniques for handling stress and getting the energy OUT of your body

1. Talk it out with someone or scream at the top of your lungs. That feels REALLY good! (Just don’t scream at your children!)

2. Crying is a great vehicle for relieving stress. It doesn’t mean you are weak!

3. Deep Breathing works by carrying oxygen to the cells so they can detoxify.

4. Exercise/Stretching is necessary to release the tension and pain in the muscles.

5. Meditation is a great way to clear and relax the mind. It just takes some practice.

6. Visualizations are a handy tool for handling stress. They can range from comedic skits about the situation to visions of paradise on a tropical island. Either way, they are great at tricking the mind into believing whatever you want.

7. Hot water baths are awesome for loosening muscles and granting “Me-Time”.

8. Realizing your limitations is a tough one, but a little humility goes a long way.

9. And, of course, plain old Laughter is and always will be the best medicine for handling stress!

Finally, I have found the use of pure essential oil aromatherapy to be a very effective means of handling stress. These oils work on the body and mind at the same time and can be used for numerous maladies related to stress. These include depression, anxiety, impatience, IBS, allergies, headaches, physical pain, nausea, fatigue, insomnia, low immune system and the list goes on.Essential oils work so well because the sense of smell connects with memory centers in the brain, wherein the memory evokes a physical response. Over the past decade I have developed a line of scents to balance the body based on ancient Chinese and Ayurvedic principles. My blends work to balance the mood by affecting the elements in the body. For example, if you have too much “Fire” you will need a water, earth or wood scent to calm you down. If you are a thinker, you are too “Metal” and will need a fire, water or wood scent to open your heart. Your scent needs will vary daily as your mood changes. I find it helpful to keep your favorite scents on hand so you will always be balanced.

The ulterior benefit to using these blends is that they will also boost your immune system! The scent you wear may also work on those close to you so they will also be balanced. Next time you’re stressed, mist some “Happy” in the air and watch what happens!

Whatever you choose to do, the thing to remember is to find balance. Too much of one thing really is too much. Balance is the key to a stress-less life!

Jakki Wienecke is a Stress & Pain Management Specialist, Author of the self-help book, Follow the Signs, owner of the Divine Creations Aromatherapy line of products to heal and balance the body and founder of PRISM Wellness. She has spent the last 16 years working to educate the public about the benefits of natural therapies such as massage therapy, acupuncture, nutrition, chiropractic, aromatherapy, yoga and natural skin care. From dance/Pilates instructor to her work as a Massage Therapist to her guidebook for a purposeful life, she has always worked to bring joy to others. Information about her workshops and products can be found at www.DC-Aroma.com. 410-399-9737

When dining out, you always remember the best and the worst places you visit. The Sand Bar unfortunately falls under the latter of those two.

The Sand Bar overlooks a the Brielle Yacht Club Marina and if you are seated outside you can keep yourself busy people watching which might make you more forgiving of the less than average dishes served here.

On a recommendation by a friend, we made reservations for a Friday evening with hopes of enjoying the beautiful weather and a fresh fish dinner. The weather part worked out great but the fish half of the equation fell short of making the evening  one we would like to remember.

Both dishes, the Grilled Mahi with Pineapple Salsa( dinner special) and my Tuna Rockford (regular menu item) were overcooked and flavorless. The Mahi was especially disappointing because the salsa was so plain and lacking in freshness. It was almost as dry as the fish itself which if juicier, it could have provided necessary moisture for the Mahi. Adding some lime juice, tomatoes, fresh cilantro and maybe a little heat from jalapenos would kick the flavor up to where it could have made a difference, even with the overcooked fish. My Tuna, which was also grilled, is served with a mixture of sun dried tomatoes, asparagus,spinach and topped with Hollandaise sauce. I asked out of the added Hollandaise as I do not care for that particular sauce. The tuna, although pink inside, was dry and overcooked and the vegetables accompanying them did little to save the dish.

Being that both dishes needed help we asked the waitress if she could provide us with dressings that we could lace over top of the fish in hopes of saving the meal. The manager, Scott, approached us to ask if there was anything he could do to make the meal better. At this point we were not going to wait to have another dish cooked, and the fact that the dishes were so poorly dressed, we felt that we would just move on. We did feel that Scott could have offered to buy our drinks or dessert to help make the experience easier to accept.

It’s a shame that we had such a bad dinner because the Sand Bar’s open, airy and casual atmposhpere provides a nice environment to dine in. We sat upstairs where reservations are accepted, but you can dine downstairs where there is open seating and a bar.

One last item that needs to be pointed out is the area where the hostess greets you. On this particular evening there were two young women at the door greeting and seating patrons upon arrival. As we were making our way back down the stairs to the exit, one of the girls was sorting silverware and napkins while sitting on the stairway. Not exactly how I would like to see my fork and knife being handled after it has been through a sterilizing wash. It seems that management is not on top of their game if this is the norm for handling issues and staff.

Regular Guy Rating * *

Sand Bar Waterfront Restaurant

201 Union Lane, Brielle, NJ 08730

(732) 528-7750

sandbarrestaurant.com

It’s  Memorial Day, its hot and your not on the beach so your looking for something to do. A cold drink and a burger, poolside, at the Engleside Sand Bar, was just the thing. Outdoors on the ocean and alive with people soaking up the sun and swimming in the pool , it seemed like just the right place to make a pit stop.

After riding our bicycles for 5 or so miles, the wife and I worked up an appetite and decided to stop for lunch. We had ridden from Ship Bottom to Beach Haven and decided to lock up our rides at the Engleside Sand Bar.

Music filled the air and could be heard from blocks away as we approached the dune at the entrance to the beach and the Sand Bar. People in bathing suits carrying frozen drinks and cold beers paraded around us as we found a table in the shady part of the patio.

Our waitress quickly addressed us and brought our Lemonades and menus. The menu is what you would expect from an outdoor pool bar, sandwiches, salads and burgers with plenty of choices for toppings.

Both burgers looked great on arrival, cooked perfect and topped with enough to satisfy. They are char grilled and 8 ounces, which seems to be more and more the norm for a good burger. What I do find is that with most burgers, and especially with the rarer cooked ones, the bottom bun is always soggy from the burgers juices. This always presents a problem as you get through the burger. As with this one, we wound up using a fork and knife to finish it off. Not the perfect way to enjoy a burger.

All things considered though, the burger was very good. Maybe it was the whole holiday weekend thing that made it taste so good but it definitely satisfied our craving and gave us the much needed energy source to pedal our way back to our car.

The Regular Guy rating * * *

The Engledside Sand Bar

30 Engleside Avenue
Beach Haven, NJ 08008-1725
(609) 492-1251

Carson
Thanks for checking out my site.
It has always been my belief that men cheat because they are weak. Period!. We all get tested at some point and we all know that once we pull the trigger, there is no going back. I think that down deep most of the cheats don’t care if they get caught, because I would say they believe they have good reason. Not so much the one time cheat, but the flagrant ones like Tiger and now Arnold. Those men knew exactly what they were doing and in their mind they were okay with it. I can’t see how any man who cheats and feels remorse, can go back over and over and sometimes even lead a double life. Let’s face it, if we all thought we would never get caught, a very high percentage of us would do it. WE have never really lost that “caveman” in us, but have seemingly learned how to control it. After all, being in a civilized society makes us. As for why we seem to “affair down”, which clearly is the case with Arnold (even though Maria isn’t really that good looking), I can’t figure it out. You would think that we would “make it count ” so at least if we were caught, our spouse could understand the temptation behind it. But what does a spouse think when she sees the other woman is a “double bagger”! That must really freak them out. Anyway, as a man I can always understand why a guy cheats, but I can’t always condone it. Yes I did write that. Only because I understand how frustrating it is to have a partner that won’t meet you at least half way to satisfy your sexual desires. When a woman hears you asking for more of her and she gives you less or even worse, ignores your pleas, then yes I can condone it. It always befuddles me when a woman turns a deaf ear to her partner then acts all surprised and hurt when he strays. Maybe leaving the relationship is the best way but most men are afraid to do that, more so when children are involved. So they stray to find the missing intimacy or sex but still want to keep the family they have intact.

Just one man’s opinion….
The Regular Guy

Hey Regular Guy

I stumbled upon your blog while Googling why so many men “affair down” – meaning, of course, the majority of men who cheat do so with women who are not nearly as attractive as their wives or girlfriends. There are TONS of hits about this on Google.(As evidenced by Jesse James, Tiger Woods, the Governator to just name a few.) I have read your posts about men and the “Chip”, which I do agree with. Do you believe then that it is because of the ever-prevalent notion of sex in the male brain that leads most (not all, of course, but most) men to cheat on their wives or girlfriends with less attractive women? Logically, one would think if you’re going to risk your relationship, you’d do it with someone who would be a “trade up”. I’d be interested to hear your thoughts.

Carson

It seems to me that there is quite a crowd of women between the ages of 30 and 40 who can not find Mr Right.

Online dating sites brag about the rate people that find love using  their programs, but in real life they seem to fall short of their lofty success reports. Women between the ages of 30 and 40 are finding themselves in limbo when it comes to landing the man of their dreams, especially if they have high standards. More and more I hear how there are so few “good” men out there and that the ones they date always fall short of capturing not just their heart but simply their interest.

Yesterday I stood between four women aged 35 to 50 and listened to them question ones relationship status. This woman being questioned is about to turn 40 and had been through a marriage that went bad. That was 7 years ago and today, she finds herself still looking for Mr Right. Sandy (not her real name) is a great girl who is not only very attractive but intelligent, witty, honest and sincere. She is also very independent and well liked by everyone who knows her. Why then can’t she find what shes looking for? She explained how just recently she met a new guy, who is 40 and without baggage (means no ex wife, no kids) which is rare these days. She also mentioned that he would like children and that is one of the things Sandy is looking for in a man. One of the women stated that at 40, he knows what he wants as opposed to earlier in his life. I laughed aloud when I heard that statement because usually men say they can not figure out women because they are always changing. t Matter of fact, men who are married often state that their wives are no longer the girl they married (see earlier posts for more on this). When I laughed they asked why I had, and I couldn’t help but chime in. I said that men were simple in what they want and that it never changes. Perhaps it’s that women at this age don’t want the same things as they did years ago when we were closer in what we both wanted and expected from each other. I said that men wanted the same things now as we did then. Sex, good food, toys and laughter. Its is really very simple, but for a woman at this age the sex we want is always too much, women don’t have time to cook or don’t know how, the love of cars, motorcycles, sports, and electronics never did anything for woman to begin with, and laughter is childish( ie: the Three Stooges come to mind). A good example might be this: In high school just about every girl wanted the jock boyfriend. He was into all the things I mentioned above and to some extent so was she. She played sports or went to to the games(maybe to meet one of the jocks). She thought his car was “cool” especially if it was a convertible, because then everyone could see her in it. Now, if you look at that guy today, he is still the same but the woman his age considers him “childish” for being the same man today as he was back then. Today the women want the “geek” who back in high school they made fun of or never paid any attention to his attraction to her. He was weird or goofy, skinny or dressed funny. Not COOL. Too bad because now all those great guys are probably the nerds who are married and successful. Oh the jocks are probably married too or they are bald and fat and are now the unattractive ones. One hell of a vicious cycle huh?

So in this day of single girls outnumbering single guys, where does a great girl find her soul mate? That question will probably go without answer forever because as they say “you can’t force love because it happens when you least expect it”.

Just one mans opinion…

The Regular Guy

One in awhile you don’t want to cook but you do want to eat so the first things that come to mind are pizza places or Chinese food.  Maybe a plate of macaroni and a salad would be just right.

I have been to Marchioni’s a total of three times. My wife likes the Pasta Gabriella dish so she thought it would be perfect for this night. After returning from a long trip, eating out always seems to be the best idea and Marchioni’s is close to our home, so it was a good fit.

We were told by the counter help to seat ourselves so we picked a booth in the back corner. I like this booth, maybe because we always sit in it or maybe because its away from the rest of the tables. Kind of private.

Our waitress was familiar to us because she also waited on us the two previous times. Shes always pleasant and extremely attentive so we were glad to see her. Ordering was easy because we already knew what we wanted before we sat down. After placing our order we were served garlic knots that were very warm and freshly made. Soon after our Spinach salad arrived and so began the uncomfortable part of the dinner.

I am not sure who this person is but I sensed he might have been a cook or the owner himself. Either way he was dressed inappropriately for a person handling/ serving or just being around food. Dressed in gym shorts and a loose fitting baggy t shirt he promptly began greeting familiar faces loudly and intrusively. It wasn’t at this point that we felt uncomfortable but it was annoying.

Soon after, as our entree arrived, he returned once more to the dining room,this time to sit and dine at the table closest to us. During the time he was eating he was also shouting across the room at two other customers, details about his Mothers day business, his wife and other things. Somewhere in the middle of our dinner and the shouting my wife and I discussed how rude and ridiculous he was to be doing this in a restaurant while people were dining. I couldn’t help but to finally excuse myself and ask him if he could stop because we had come to this place not just to eat but also spend a quiet evening talking about our past trip. I will say in all fairness to this man, he was apologetic and he moved his seat closer to other patrons with whom he was speaking. As uncomfortable as it was to speak out, I hope that he realized some customers would really enjoy dining in a quiet atmosphere.

As for the pasta Gabriella, it seemed to be slightly less flavorful then we recalled from the last visits. This dish consists or bow tie pasta, grilled chicken and sun-dried tomatoes in a cream sauce similar to Alfredo. Two things I thought would have made this dish better, the sauce seasoning and fresh grilled chicken. The sauce needed more flavor, a pinch of nutmeg, a little cheese and maybe some zip from pepper. The chicken was overdone, probably because it was cooked earlier and then added to the pasta. Also it would be better served to slice the chicken thinner and smaller so it fills the dish better and is easier to eat. The chicken shouldn’t be bigger than the macaroni. If it is you cant get it all on the fork in the same bite.

The amount of food served was more than enough for both of us and we also had enough to take home leftover pasta.

All things considered, I can’t say I was very happy but the way the gentleman handled my request, I can say that I would give Marchioni’s another chance.

Regular Guy rating –* * 1/2  -  * * *

Marchioni’s Pizza and Pasta

912 West Bay Avenue

# 140 Barnegat, NJ 08005-1290

(609) 660-2424