Archive for the ‘Girls, Girls, Girls’ Category
Tuesday, May 24th, 2011
Thanks for checking out my site.
It has always been my belief that men cheat because they are weak. Period!. We all get tested at some point and we all know that once we pull the trigger, there is no going back. I think that down deep most of the cheats don’t care if they get caught, because I would say they believe they have good reason. Not so much the one time cheat, but the flagrant ones like Tiger and now Arnold. Those men knew exactly what they were doing and in their mind they were okay with it. I can’t see how any man who cheats and feels remorse, can go back over and over and sometimes even lead a double life. Let’s face it, if we all thought we would never get caught, a very high percentage of us would do it. WE have never really lost that “caveman” in us, but have seemingly learned how to control it. After all, being in a civilized society makes us. As for why we seem to “affair down”, which clearly is the case with Arnold (even though Maria isn’t really that good looking), I can’t figure it out. You would think that we would “make it count ” so at least if we were caught, our spouse could understand the temptation behind it. But what does a spouse think when she sees the other woman is a “double bagger”! That must really freak them out. Anyway, as a man I can always understand why a guy cheats, but I can’t always condone it. Yes I did write that. Only because I understand how frustrating it is to have a partner that won’t meet you at least half way to satisfy your sexual desires. When a woman hears you asking for more of her and she gives you less or even worse, ignores your pleas, then yes I can condone it. It always befuddles me when a woman turns a deaf ear to her partner then acts all surprised and hurt when he strays. Maybe leaving the relationship is the best way but most men are afraid to do that, more so when children are involved. So they stray to find the missing intimacy or sex but still want to keep the family they have intact.
Just one man’s opinion….
The Regular Guy
Tuesday, May 24th, 2011
Hey Regular Guy
I stumbled upon your blog while Googling why so many men “affair down” – meaning, of course, the majority of men who cheat do so with women who are not nearly as attractive as their wives or girlfriends. There are TONS of hits about this on Google.(As evidenced by Jesse James, Tiger Woods, the Governator to just name a few.) I have read your posts about men and the “Chip”, which I do agree with. Do you believe then that it is because of the ever-prevalent notion of sex in the male brain that leads most (not all, of course, but most) men to cheat on their wives or girlfriends with less attractive women? Logically, one would think if you’re going to risk your relationship, you’d do it with someone who would be a “trade up”. I’d be interested to hear your thoughts.
Sunday, May 15th, 2011
It seems to me that there is quite a crowd of women between the ages of 30 and 40 who can not find Mr Right.
Online dating sites brag about the rate people that find love using their programs, but in real life they seem to fall short of their lofty success reports. Women between the ages of 30 and 40 are finding themselves in limbo when it comes to landing the man of their dreams, especially if they have high standards. More and more I hear how there are so few “good” men out there and that the ones they date always fall short of capturing not just their heart but simply their interest.
Yesterday I stood between four women aged 35 to 50 and listened to them question ones relationship status. This woman being questioned is about to turn 40 and had been through a marriage that went bad. That was 7 years ago and today, she finds herself still looking for Mr Right. Sandy (not her real name) is a great girl who is not only very attractive but intelligent, witty, honest and sincere. She is also very independent and well liked by everyone who knows her. Why then can’t she find what shes looking for? She explained how just recently she met a new guy, who is 40 and without baggage (means no ex wife, no kids) which is rare these days. She also mentioned that he would like children and that is one of the things Sandy is looking for in a man. One of the women stated that at 40, he knows what he wants as opposed to earlier in his life. I laughed aloud when I heard that statement because usually men say they can not figure out women because they are always changing. t Matter of fact, men who are married often state that their wives are no longer the girl they married (see earlier posts for more on this). When I laughed they asked why I had, and I couldn’t help but chime in. I said that men were simple in what they want and that it never changes. Perhaps it’s that women at this age don’t want the same things as they did years ago when we were closer in what we both wanted and expected from each other. I said that men wanted the same things now as we did then. Sex, good food, toys and laughter. Its is really very simple, but for a woman at this age the sex we want is always too much, women don’t have time to cook or don’t know how, the love of cars, motorcycles, sports, and electronics never did anything for woman to begin with, and laughter is childish( ie: the Three Stooges come to mind). A good example might be this: In high school just about every girl wanted the jock boyfriend. He was into all the things I mentioned above and to some extent so was she. She played sports or went to to the games(maybe to meet one of the jocks). She thought his car was “cool” especially if it was a convertible, because then everyone could see her in it. Now, if you look at that guy today, he is still the same but the woman his age considers him “childish” for being the same man today as he was back then. Today the women want the “geek” who back in high school they made fun of or never paid any attention to his attraction to her. He was weird or goofy, skinny or dressed funny. Not COOL. Too bad because now all those great guys are probably the nerds who are married and successful. Oh the jocks are probably married too or they are bald and fat and are now the unattractive ones. One hell of a vicious cycle huh?
So in this day of single girls outnumbering single guys, where does a great girl find her soul mate? That question will probably go without answer forever because as they say “you can’t force love because it happens when you least expect it”.
Just one mans opinion…
The Regular Guy
Thursday, August 5th, 2010
|( the following was contributed by a friend..thanks)
I went to PNC to see John Mayer last night. Sound was OK but loud. I couldn’t really hear vocals clearly yet the crowd knew every word and they were ready to party. Now to my point. It was like eye candy. Young high school and college girls all tan, wearing short shorts, tank tops or sundresses, laced with coconut tan lotion and smelling great. As men, we are so turned on by that and the girls just strut their stuff without thought. They hang in groups, laugh, giggle and boy watch. So my question is” does anyone wonder why young girls so often get pregnant or date raped?” Don’t the parents of these young women check out what their daughter is wearing and educate them on what message they are sending to men of ALL ages, prior to them going out in public? As fathers, we know what men think when they see this, and we should insist that our daughters don’t make this mistake, even if innocent, by dressing in this manner. Temptation is always present and most men know their limitations, both morally and legally, but unfortunately some don’t, and these are the ones who young girls need to be aware of. It’s as if the girls play this head game, but they know exactly what they are doing. It was like a boob-fest. Hang them out but if a man looks he’s a jerk or pervert. There was a time when this was inappropriate behavior and society, let alone parents, would not accept this from young ladies. Add alcohol to this equation and now you have the perfect setting for trouble. Parents seem to have forgotten just how naive we were at this age and how important, especially in today’s world it is to be aware of the message our young people are putting out there. My feeling is this is just one more example of how liberal and accepting our nation has become.
a High School senior on her way to the prom( See The Dress That Got A High-School Senior Arrested
Friday, December 4th, 2009
So here we go again. Another cheating guy gets caught. I especially enjoy the famous ones, like Tiger Woods. It is always interesting to hear what excuse the “Celebrity Cheat” uses. Athletes especially have a corner on the market for piss poor excuses.
Tiger Woods, who crashes his SUV, now turns out to be a long time cheater who now says he is sorry for his “transgressions” and he promises to “be a better man”. I love this crap!!!
Just once, once, that’s all, I would love for a guy to come out and say what he really should say. He should come clean and say that he cheated because he wanted to! Just about every guy I know comes to a point in his relationship when he is faced with the option to cheat or not cheat. I especially love it when guys like Woods says he’s sorry after almost two years of doing it. He’s not sorry. He’s just sorry he got caught!! Just listen to his voice message he left his girlfriend about his wife being on to him and that she might call her, so she should change her voice mail message to throw the wife off the trail. Yeah, that sounds like a guy who is sorry. Sorry my ass. He did it and he enjoyed it and he would still be doing it now if he could.
As the term that is used so frequently states “Be A Man!”. Stand up in front of everyone and tell us what we as men know already, that the temptation was too great and you were weak. That you knew exactly what you were doing and enjoyed it. That things at home probably weren’t what they used to be so you strayed. That it was all about the sex ( well at first it probably was). Just one time I want to here a guy say that he did it and he isn’t sorry and that its part of life that sometimes we do things that hurt other people but we do them anyway because it makes us happy. Sure we don’t cheat to hurt the one we are with but truthfully, we are being selfish and looking out for ourselves when we cheat. We do what feels right at the moment and then get caught up in the whole thing when it takes on a life of its own.
Personally I couldn’t do it. It would take to much energy to maintain a lie and worse yet, it is cruel to mislead a woman who probably loves and trusts me. Sure every guy thinks about cheating as I am sure many women do too. The problem with being a guy is, like I said in my earlier posts, we have this “extra chip” in our makeup that keeps sex on our mind “all the time”. There just isn’t a way to do away with the thoughts of sex that pass through our mind too many times a day (for most women to believe). I think its a curse to be this way. It really isn’t fun and it takes up so much time in your life that eventually some guys like Woods, give in to the temptation.
I have always believed that given the right opportunity, most men would cheat even though they loved their wife ( girlfriend). It is rarely about the relationship they are in that causes them to cheat. How many times do you hear about some couple you know that appear happy, act happy and the wife thinks they are happy, but the husband cheats.
Men cheat for the thrill and women cheat because they no longer get what they are looking for from their husband ( boyfriend). I don’t mean this as absolute but it holds true most of the time. And when I say a woman cheats because she no longer gets what she wants, I don’t mean material things. I mean love, affection, attention, trust and respect from the person she needs it from. I admire women for that reason.
The one other problem I have with all of this is the other woman. Whats her deal? She’s a woman, so she knows what that would do to the mans wife if she found out. Are women really that way towards each other. On one hand they stand together in their beliefs about how men are but on the other hand they stab their on kind in the back the first chance they get. And the worse ones are like Wood’s girl, who saved pictures and recordings of the affair to use later on as a weapon for money or notoriety.
Some guy’s like Woods are real idiots. How can any man put himself in a position such as that when he has so much to lose? I know how strong the urges get to cheat but they can be controlled, especially when like Woods, everyone is going to get a piece of you because of this. Just think about all the people that are going to have a hand in his pocket now.
That’s why I say if you get caught, fess up and spill the beans. Tell us all how it really went down. Tell us why you keep going back for more with that girlfriend . Every guy out here wants the truth. We’re tired of the freakin’ attorney driven answers you lay on the press. Stand up tough guy and spit it out! Tell the truth and no one can hold anything against you or come out to the press with pictures to prove you lie. Maybe we have to wait until the dust clears, the wife leaves you, and you write the book!! Yeah that’s probably it (see Andre Agassi, Jose Canseco etc..) because your going to need some way to make that money back!
The Regular Guy…
Thursday, August 13th, 2009
What is love and can it exist today?
Everyone seems to be in search of love. From the time we are young we are told that if we do the right things, we will find a girl who loves us and we will marry her, have a family and live a happy life. This is how a happy life is portrayed to most men and women from the time they are able to understand the birds and the bees.
Why is it then that we live in a society of people who have made divorce law a career choice for a vast amount of attorneys? Everything points to marriage as a bad option for a happy life. After all, over fifty percent of first marriages end in divorce. And if you think those odds are bad, second marriage divorces are over seventy five percent.
So why does love, if we finally find it, end so badly? Why do people lose the love they once had? Keeping it simple, I say it is because generally, we are selfish people. Most young people who get married now don’t know how to not be selfish. Today people are all about garnering material things. So much so that we have created a nation in debt, just so we can drive a nicer car than we can afford and feel good for the moment. Going into a marriage after living a life about “me” is a hard thing to change. Marriage is supposed to be about “us,” not “me”. The hard part about love is putting the other person first, not once in awhile but all the time. Being selfish, that’s just not something you can do and expect a long loving relationship. Just think about it for a minute. If each person considered their spouses feelings and needs before acting on something, it would make for a much better marriage. Just that one thing can change the whole marriage. And this is something that you have to be conscience of from the beginning and never let it slip away. It sounds crazy but take the selfishness out of the marriage and it removes most problems.
People lose the love they had because they stopped thinking about how to keep it. Again, this is something that has to be worked on. I once heard a saying that went like this. “If you want a happy marriage, you need to have a happy wife”. In other words fellas, do whatever it takes to make your wife happy and you will find happiness yourself. If you do all the little things like open doors, pull out chairs, save the last cookie for her, remember things she thinks you will forget, kiss her goodnight, walk next to her not in front of her, sit next to her in restaurants instead of across from her and hold her hand when she is near, she will “feel” how much you love her and return that love a hundred fold . You get what you give in life and no more so then in a marriage.
Too many of my friends have lost that love they once had with their wives and once lost it is extremely hard to rekindle. It takes double the effort because both people have forgotten what got them there. If you have children, that effort is even harder to maintain. Always the excuse that the kids come first. It wasn’t always that way when you first married but now it’s the way it is, or so everyone says. If you give into that, then your marriage is doomed. So many men have taken the back seat to their kids when they once were number one in the wife’s world. This just might be the reason so many men cheat. You can’t expect a man to come second to his kids for too long before he starts reaching out for what is missing at home. This is why it’s so important for couples to maintain the things they did when they met, when they were both the most important thing to each other.
Love doesn’t come easy and when it does, its harder to maintain. Love hits you like a brick but the mark won’t last long without a few stone throws to remind you how good it is. Love, like anything else in life that’s worth something, takes effort. That effort should be embraced and cherished because when you have love it makes it easier to deal with the terrible things we face everyday. There isn’t a secret to what makes love last, its just how bad you want it to.
There are too many people, especially women, who think they are in love. Everyone knows someone like that. They tell you that they stay in a bad relationship because they love that person. They stay and think that their love can change that person, make them see the light. Wake up, people don’t change unless they want to. “A zebra can’t change his stripes”. I made that mistake once and my marriage ended in divorce. I saw the signs before getting married, but chose to ignore them. I believed that she would change after she saw how great our life could be. I was wrong and I wouldn’t listen to anyone who tried to tell me so. Get over it and move on. You deserve better. If a man loves a woman, he will tear down walls to get to her, and he will never take advantage of her love. Never. Be honest to yourself and find someone who is right for you.
On another note, you changing might be the difference in finding love. Love doesn’t always find you on your doorstep. Sometimes you have to leave your comfort zone and go out and find it. I know two women about thirty seven years old who have been searching for love since I met them some three years ago. It is constantly on their minds that they can not find Mr. Right. My advice to them has always been to move away to a new life. The person they are looking for isn’t in their neighborhood. My wife, changed her life and found me. She got tired of her life the way it was and figured she would never find the right guy while doing the same old things. She picked up, left her job, and moved out of state to start a new life. Less than two years later she met me and we married with in six months. Sometimes it takes drastic measures to meet the right Regular Guy!!!
Love is a strange thing. People who don’t have it, constantly search it out while people who found it don’t know how to keep it. If your a Regular Guy and want love to last, make an effort to keep it alive. Don’t give up so fast on love, because when love is right, it is your greatest chance for a healthy and long life.
Monday, July 6th, 2009
I hope that I am not coming off as being callous but why couldn’t Michael Jackson pass on one week later? Maybe if Michael had died a different week, Farrah Fawcett’s death would have gotten more attention.
I can’t remember just when it was that I began to like Farrah Fawcett. It definitely wasn’t during her short stint on Charlies Angel’s. And believe it or not, it wasn’t from owning that poster of hers, because I didn’t have a copy. I think it might have been when she turned fifty. A friend of mine bought me a copy of her Playboy video for my birthday. What a guy huh? Yeah that’s probably when I began to like Farrah Fawcett.
I know I sound just like a guy because I chose that moment in time, being it was Playboy and all, but something struck me about her that hadn’t before. She seemed real to me. Not like Pamela Lee Anderson, who was always so fake looking. Farrah just had something about her that made you think she was just a regular woman. The only other celebrity woman I can remember thinking the same way about was Cindy Crawford.
Even though that video was very corny and she came off as whiny and a little ditsy at times, she did seem to be real. Getting past her good looks you could see why so many people admired and followed her career. She definitely came off as a down to earth woman and someone who you could probably approach and hold a conversation with.
When I first heard that Farrah was sick with incurable Cancer, I was really taken back by it. After seeing her television special about her battle with the disease, I felt even worse. I don’t know what the connection is with Farrah but her life left a mark on mine.
The reason I said what I did about Micheal Jackson earlier, was because his death overshadowed Farrahs and she never got the attention that she deserved. After showing us just how horrible Cancer is and how she fought valiantly to the end, she deserved more in death. Maybe this sounds a little strange because after reading this I thought so too, but it seems like everything that happened to Michael Jackson he brought on himself. Farrah just happened to catch a bad break and in death had to take a back seat to a talented yet freakish superstar.
Maybe others out there will read this and agree with me. Maybe in some strange way Farrah affected them in a way they can’t explain either.Maybe this is just my way of recognizing Farrah’s life and death, and what she meant to me…..
Wednesday, April 1st, 2009
Men like to talk about marriage and sex. Well let me rephrase that…men usually always talk about marriage and sex. More so sex than marriage but marriage or even better, “the wife”. So what does the Regular Guy think about marriage and sex? To get a better idea, I sent out a survey to 15 married Regular Guys that I know. Out of the 15 requests sent, 9 were willing to spend five minutes of their time to take the survey. The survey was confidential, although I believe some thought it wasn’t and that their name would appear beside their answers. Too bad because the 9 responses returned some interesting, some typical, some surprising and some exactly as I thought, answers to how men feel about their marriage and sex.
My first thoughts about the survey revolved around love, happiness and reasons men married their wives. Of the 9 guys surveyed, 90% were in love when they married and 100% were in love with their wives today, but only 65% were happily married. The top two reasons as to why these men married were love, 75%, and best friend 35%. Along those lines, 65% of these men stated that they hang out with their wives alone for fun, other than for vacations or family functions. That’s pretty telling because a lot of men usually talk about getting away from their wives but this shows the opposite.
The majority of these men, 62%, said that they enjoy sex with their wives but 85% said they wanted it more than their wives did. Curiously enough, 82% thought that their wives sex drive changed for the worse since they were first married, and the number one cause was because of children in the marriage. When asked if their wives asked, initiated or invited sex as often as they wanted it, 43% said no” shes never in the mood” and 43% said “yes, but she doesn’t always initiate it.” Pretty even split there.
The last question probably explains why we are so far apart with the way we think about sex. When asked if they believed their wives understood the male sex drive. 75% said ” no, and they really don’t understand or care about our sex drive”.
So what does all this mean? I always believed that men and women never really take the time to learn about what each other truely wants and needs with sex in a marriage. Oh yeah they probably talk about it or talk at each other but as men we feel that it just falls on deaf ears. I also believe that children in a marriage become the number one thing to the woman, where in a marriage without children, the man is still the most important thing. That is usually the what I hear most from married men. They believe that they are no longer number one and that bothers them. They can’t understand why women change so much as they age.Most understand that the children are probably the reason why they change. My favorite example of the change is the “convertible test”. Can you remember a young girl who is offered a ride in a convertible say no because her hair will get messed up. Never, but take that same girl some 30 years later and there is no way shes getting in a convertible with the top down. Hell my friends wife won’t let him take the top off his Vette while shes in it.
I once heard a saying that is so true. ” Men marry women hoping they never change and women marry men hoping they do”. How true is that saying. When I say that around my friends they can’t believe how true it is especially in their marriage. They think back to how it was when they first met their wives and the things they used to do with each other. Now those same things wouldn’t even be considered by their wives. This my friends is why we have what women call “MID LIFE CRISIS”. We want the same things we always did but can’t have them anymore.
If your interested in taking the survey, just click on the picture of the “blue monkey face” in my favorites links area on this page.
The Regular Guy
Thursday, January 8th, 2009
Eve…isn’t that where it all started? Tempted in the Garden of Eden by the forbidden fruit!
I think I was five. Maybe six. Six years old when I first noticed an attractive woman. I have to say woman because she was a woman. I guess I started out liking them older. My first was someone who was married to a Regular Guy who’s family we rented an apartment from. I didn’t know much back then but I did know this.
Louis was a tough guy. He was a bad ass. At least I thought that from my very small perspective. He built motorcycles and painted them in his garage. He had bad ass biker friends and metal flake paint jobs. He smoked, with the cigarette always just hanging from the corner of his mouth. Jeans and ripped or no shirt. Tattoo’s and a drinker. All this but always treated me so nice. He was the first Regular Guy I know. No glitter, no bullshit just what a lot of people call a Man’s Man.
Louis had a girlfriend ( I can’t remember if he was married to her at the time), Eileen. From memory Eileen was beautiful. She had dark hair, kind of on the long side and a big smile. The smile is what I remember most about her. She had a slight overbite that to this day I find attractive in women. Just like Farrah. Remember Farrah’s smile she had in her very famous and super groovy poster from the 70′s? At the time I would never had known that Eileen would be the model from which all women in my life would be compared to.
That picture above spells it out quite clearly. Written on the girls’ stomach is the letters SEX. If your the Regular Guy and you see this picture, I don’t have to tell you what your thinking. ON my ABOUT THE REGULAR GUY page, I mentioned the “Extra Chip” that men get at birth that women don’t. I can’t explain it in any other way. It’s the thing that makes us talk about sex all the time when we hang out, just the guys. It’s the reason beer commercials have women pop up every time a guy opens a bottle. It’s why that crappy eatery named Hooter’s is so popular. It’s the thing that makes us want sex from our wife when she just wakes up, just works out, during an argument, or any other time ( probably 20 or 30 instances a day), she doesn’t expect it or even remotely think about it.
I’ll give you an example. I can sit on the couch with my wife and she can kiss me for hours and then get up brush her teeth, wash her face and lay in bed and fall asleep. I can bet that this has happened in one way or another to many a Regular Guy. I would say that from the second kiss I was thinking about SEX. After hours of kissing, I already had SEX in a few different positions, watched her orgasm, cleaned up and started again, in my mind that is. How the heck does she do it? Now, I am not going to say that if I don’t make a move she won’t play along but if I sit idle, she can do just what I laid out for you earlier.
That’s where the “Extra Chip” comes in. That “Chip” would have made her pants fall off at the second kiss, just like I imagined. That “Chip” is why women call us pigs, dogs or just “Dirty Old Men”. Hey it’s not our fault we’re this way. And why is that so hard to accept anyway. Don’t we have to accept that they don’t think about it or want it as much as we do. Hey we go through years of fighting the urges everyday just because its what we have to do to stay in a committed relationship. So if we have to lay awake at night in bed staring at the ceiling wondering when the next opportunity will present itself, then they should be more sensitive to our situation.
You know, most of us talk a good talk but never do anything to hurt the one we love. Sure its tempting and sometimes so hard to resist. It’s really not an excuse and we don’t know why it is this way but baby its true. My guess is that the Porn industry is so big because we really can’t get enough SEX to ever satisfy us. It is probably a major relief valve for a lot of guys.
So what’s my point? I have been talking about this “Extra Chip” for years with a good friend. He thinks I am a little nuts about my blaming it on the “Chip “idea, but he does agree that we as Regular Guys have to deal with it all the time. He loves his Porn and does and says some pretty off the wall shit. His wife is the complete opposite and as far as I know accepts him for the whack job that he is. You see, even though he uses Porn for an outlet, he never crosses the line. He’s faithful beyond belief to his wife. He never speaks to me about cheating on her, although he will share a fantasy or two with me about some shiny woman in a picture. I guess that is my point right there. We all know how hard it is wanting SEX all the time, but most of us know that although the thoughts and urges will always be there, it would never take the place of the woman we love.The best of the Regular Guys know that although SEX is always present in our head, it isn’t the thing that counts in the end. If your woman is the right one, you know that there are far more important things in your relationship than SEX.
The Regular Guy